The Science And Sense Of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives

As parents, it is natural to want to protect and guide our children every step of the way. We often believe that the more control we have over their lives, the better we can ensure their success and happiness. However, recent research suggests that giving kids more control and autonomy can lead to positive outcomes in their development and overall well-being.

The Power of Autonomy

Autonomy refers to the ability to make decisions and take actions independently. When children are given a sense of control over their lives, it empowers them to develop their own identities and build confidence in their abilities.

Studies have shown that children who have a sense of autonomy are more likely to:

The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives

by William Stixrud(Kindle Edition)

4.7 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	2213 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
Screen Reader	:	Supported
Enhanced typesetting	:	Enabled
X-Ray	:	Enabled
Word Wise	:	Enabled
Print length	:	378 pages
Paperback	:	320 pages
Item Weight	:	15.2 ounces
Dimensions	:	6 x 0.73 x 9 inches

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• Develop stronger problem-solving skills
• Experience higher levels of motivation and engagement in tasks
• Display increased resilience and adaptability
• Have better emotional regulation
• Develop stronger social skills

The Role of Parental Guidance

While giving children more control is important, it does not mean leaving them completely on their own. Parents still play a crucial role in providing guidance and support.

Research suggests that the best approach is to find a balance between allowing children to exercise their autonomy and setting appropriate boundaries. By offering choices within limits, parents can provide structure and guidance while still giving their children the opportunity to make decisions based on their interests and preferences.

Encouraging Decision-Making Skills

One effective way to foster autonomy in children is by encouraging their decision-making skills. Here are some strategies that can help:

1. Start early: Allow children to make simple decisions from a young age, such as choosing their own clothes or selecting a snack.
2. Discuss pros and cons: When faced with more complex decisions, engage children in discussions about the advantages and disadvantages of different options.
3. Support problem-solving: Encourage children to come up with solutions to challenges they may encounter, guiding them through the process rather than providing immediate answers.
4. Teach responsibility: Help children understand the consequences of their decisions, both positive and negative, fostering a sense of accountability.
5. Create a safe environment: Ensure that children feel comfortable making mistakes and learning from them, emphasizing the learning process rather than focusing solely on the outcome.

The Long-Term Benefits

By giving children more control over their lives, parents are not only nurturing their development but also preparing them for adulthood.

Research indicates that individuals who were given more autonomy as children are more likely to:

• Have higher academic achievements
• Experience greater job satisfaction
• Display increased overall well-being in adulthood
• Develop healthier relationships

, while it may be tempting to exert control over every aspect of your children's lives, giving them more autonomy can be highly beneficial. Not only does it empower children to become confident and independent individuals, but it also prepares them for future success and happiness. As parents, it is essential to find the right balance between guiding and allowing autonomy, ensuring that our children develop the necessary skills to navigate the complexities of life.

The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives

by William Stixrud(Kindle Edition)

4.7 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	2213 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
Screen Reader	:	Supported
Enhanced typesetting	:	Enabled
X-Ray	:	Enabled
Word Wise	:	Enabled
Print length	:	378 pages
Paperback	:	320 pages
Item Weight	:	15.2 ounces
Dimensions	:	6 x 0.73 x 9 inches

FREE

“Instead of trusting kids with choices . . . many parents insist on micromanaging everything from homework to friendships. For these parents, Stixrud and Johnson have a simple message: Stop.” —NPR

“This humane, thoughtful book turns the latest brain science into valuable practical advice for parents.” —Paul Tough, New York Times bestselling author of How Children Succeed

A few years ago, Bill Stixrud and Ned Johnson started noticing the same problem from different angles: Even high-performing kids were coming to them acutely stressed and lacking motivation. Many complained they had no control over their lives. Some stumbled in high school or hit college and unraveled. Bill is a clinical neuropsychologist who helps kids gripped by anxiety or struggling to learn. Ned is a motivational coach who runs an elite tutoring service. Together they discovered that the best antidote to stress is to give kids more of a sense of control over their lives. But this doesn't mean giving up your authority as a parent. In this groundbreaking book they reveal how you can actively help your child to sculpt a brain that is resilient, and ready to take on new challenges.

The Self-Driven Child offers a combination of cutting-edge brain science, the latest discoveries in behavioral therapy, and case studies drawn from the thousands of kids and teens Bill and Ned have helped over the years to teach you how to set your child on the real road to success. As parents, we can only drive our kids so far. At some point, they will have to take the wheel and map out their own path. But there is a lot you can do before then to help them tackle the road ahead with resilience and imagination.